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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?